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I really digg this girl! Mental health awareness. 
BPD Recovery Girl.

Posted in Stuff that just doesn't fit in a catergory


I just keep replaying the last 3 years of my marriage.  And i keep seeing signs and lies i let go. Things i should have spoken up about and things i should have let go.
He said something happened to him as a child. I don’t know if it was really the person  he said it was. Or if it was just another lie to entangle me in his web of deceitfulness. I will never know. I just know i have to protect my children and myself from that kind of family. No ones family is perfect.  Mine is far from it but all i know is truth. And if from the beginning it was a lie then?  Im the fool… like I’ve always said. One can only float on smoke for so long.    

Posted in Stuff that just doesn't fit in a catergory

The Worst (Explicit)

I will post this video once I get to my computer.  But this video is breath taking. I ****spoiler alert**** she kills this “man” wow! I didn’t even catch it the first time cause I was intently listening to the lyrics. Robert used to say I was funny because I always listened to the lyrics of a song and applied said song to my life. Well…its therapy …really… Sometimes I catch myself unable to label or put into words how I’m feeling and music has always been   segway for me to understanding my feelings.

Jhené Aiko – The Worst (Explicit)
Tell me what you say now?
Tell me what you say
Come again?

If you cannot stay down
Then you do not have to pretend
Like there is no way out
I shoulda never let you in
Cause you got me face down

And don’t take this personal
But you’re the worst
You know what you’ve done to me
And although it hurts I know
I just can’t keep runnin’ away

I don’t need you [x4]
But I want you
I don’t mean to [x4]
But I love you

Tell me what you say now
Tell me what you say?
You said that you would come again
You (said) that we would remain friends but
You know that I do not depend on
Nothing or no one
So why would you show up
So uninvited then
Just change my mind like that

Please don’t take this personal
But you ain’t shit
And you weren’t special
Til I made you so
You better act like you know
That I’ve been through worse than you
I just can’t keep running away
(But I don’t need you)


Everybody’s like
He’s no item
Please don’t like em
He don’t wife em
He one nights em
I never listened
I shoulda figured though
All that shit you was spittin’
So unoriginal
But it was you
So I was with it
Then tell you the truth
Wish we never did it

Cause I usually do
Stick to the business
But you came out the blue
And then you just flipped it
God damn baby
My mind’s blown
Be forgettin’
You live in a different time zone
Think I know what this is
It’s just the time’s wrong
Yeah I know what you did
But baby I’m grown
And my love is patient
And kind, and shit
This is real we can build
Through different types of shit
If you was really the realest
Wouldn’t be fightin’ it
I think your pride is just
In the way
Funny how everything changed
Once you got all that you wanted
Nothing was ever the same

And though
I don’t need you [x4]
I still want you
I don’t mean to [x4]
But I love you

I don’t need you [x4]
But I want you
I don’t mean to [x4]
But I love you

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Posted in Stuff that just doesn't fit in a catergory

Mary Undoer of Knots

Posted in Stuff that just doesn't fit in a catergory

A single mom’s confession: Am I your parent or your friend?


I really enjoyed reading this…

Originally posted on Women With Gifts:


I’m sure we’ve all made the mistake of being more of our child’s friend instead of being a parent. I’m sure we’ve all attempted the “friendship” parenting method at one point in our child’s life or another, but then switch gears when that parenting style doesn’t really work. I personally found myself attempting to be my children’s best friend when I was a single mother of 2. I wanted to be my children’s best friend because I felt guilty of being a single parent and I felt responsible for them not having a dad in their life. I also felt guilty about working so many hours and having limited amount of time to spend with them.
Now I can ask myself, “did working so much make me a bad parent?” At the time that I was a single parent my answer would have been, “yes”. Now, after having more years…

View original 252 more words

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Single parenthood….Here I am!


If  you cannot tell by now, Robert and I have split up. Actually he just left and abandoned his family. I have not seen nor heard from him in almost a month and we have not been together for almost 3 months. I had a six month plan in place to leave him and by now I would have told him that we were going to be separating . It just happened a lot quicker and without my crazy pre-planning involved. Things got violent and I filed a restraining order against him. We go to court soon and I. AM. A . MESS.

The emotional abuse is over but still he gets to me. I keep abusing myself and reprimanding myself thinking “It’s my karma” “I should have done this better and that better…” But there is no real answer to my problem.

Now I find myself 29 years old….30 in two months and a single mother of a 2 year old and a 11 month old…So my new story begins…



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